Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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