its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
