Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
