we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
