do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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