let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
