I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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