DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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