is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
