Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
