what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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