anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
