I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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