Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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