I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
