he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
