You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
