She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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