The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
