My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
