So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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