Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
me + whiskey = a bad person
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
