Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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