theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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