How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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