I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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