Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
