I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
