We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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