I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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