Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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