i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
