I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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