So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
