after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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