By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
