come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
