There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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