PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
