So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
