You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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