Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
