the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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