Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
