Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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