This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
