You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
