guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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