I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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