in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize