Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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