Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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