you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
