My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
