I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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