oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
