I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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