covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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