We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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