a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
