my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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