The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
