Sry I called you an 8
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
