he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
