Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
