I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
